Free Advice Examples

THE FOLLOWING ARE TRUE EXAMPLES OF THE KIND OF ADVICE THE ORIGINAL NEW YORK CITY FREE
ADVICE MAN WOULD GIVE (ANY NAMES OR OTHER INFORMATION PERTAINING TO THE ACTUAL IDENTITY
OF THOSE WHO HAVE RIGHTFULLY TRUSTED THE FREE ADVICE MAN'S PROMISE OF CONFIDENTIALITY
HAS BEEN OMITTED). FURTHERMORE THE WORDING OF THE EXCHANGES HAS BEEN EDITED AND
WATERED DOWN FOR PURPOSES OF BREVITY AND CLARITY;

YOUNG MALE (AROUND 25):

"I have seen you on TV! Look, here's the deal; I come from a poor neighborhood and have lived in poverty most
of my life, and now I manage to get into the penthouses and fancy apartments of rich old ladies on Park Avenue,
where I take a thing or two that will fetch me a lot of money on the fencing market! Am I going to hell or what?"

THE FREE ADVICE MAN (23):

"I am not a rabbi or priest, or even very religious for that matter, in fact I am a spiritual man, but I do know this:
when you steal these things its like shooting in the dark, for you risk harming and even causing the death of
innocent people. For example, what if the rich old lady assumes that it was her maid who did it? What if the poor
maid is fired and she and her children end up on the streets and sick, and one of her children dies because of all
that? Or even, what if the item you steal is irreplaceable and the old lady, who got it from her late, beloved
husband, dies from her depression and grief?? And what if on one occasion someone spots you and you feel
forced to kill??? You see what I mean? It's really like shooting in the dark and makes you likely to become a
murderer!"

YOUNG MALE:

"Hmmm. I never thought of it like that! Thanks... I think I am going to have to find some other way to make a living.
Ahm...what about dealing dope?"

THE FREE ADVICE MAN:

"Same basic thing...you're still shooting in the dark, and worse than that, you are helping make rich the same
people who have made your family and you poor and who are murderers, real ruthless thugs and murderers!"

YOUNG MALE:

"Any advice?"

THE FREE ADVICE MAN:

"Two things; one, get the following books and read them well: a book called The Little Prince by Antoine De
Saint-Exupery....here I'll write this down for you...another Infinity and The Mind by Rudy Rucker and get a book
with lots of pictures of the stars and galaxies, an astronomy book...read them well and often...Also, think about
what it is you would have liked to do if you had the right higher education, then find out how you can apply for
grants and loans and get down to studying and becoming someone you can really be proud of.... and maybe you
will need to work as a pizza or flower delivery guy for a while, but in the end you will remember my advice and
thank The Great Spirit for it!"

YOUNG MALE:

"Thanks...You really have me thinking now... Some day I'm going to come back and we'll celebrate things!"

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WOMAN (AROUND 35):

"Free Advice! Well, why not? What the heck, I don't have anything better to do now and I sure as hell could use
some free advice!"

THE FREE ADVICE MAN (24):

"Alright! What's on your mind!"

WOMAN:

"Here's the deal. I love this man dearly, he's really smart, nice person, good looks...you know...., and I have been
with him for over four years, but he doesn't know my other side! I'm a woman who also likes the company of
another woman, and have had a lover on the side for over a year now! Basically I'm bi and prefer women...
Anyway, I feel bad about my secret and don't want to hurt him...what should I do?"

THE FREE ADVICE MAN:

"I see.... I'm not going to tell you that lying about things like this is wrong, because you know that... But have you
ever told him that you like women or even given him any reason to think so?"

WOMAN:

"Sure! And he has said that if he can be with me and another woman then it's o.k, but not otherwise. And the
woman I'm with now would not care to be with a man."

THE FREE ADVICE MAN:

"I think you should consider finding a man who would openly accept this reality of yours, and not continue to
cheat on this man."

WOMAN:

"But I love him too much and I'm afraid it would hurt him more than it would me."

THE FREE ADVICE MAN:

"True love must be based on full trust, which in turn must be based on absolute honesty, at least in so far as
these important and relevant issues are concerned... You will do him greater harm if you let this situation go on
for years and he only finds out much later!"

WOMAN:

"I see.... Give me a few minutes to think about what you have just said..." "Well, you're right, I need to let him go,
but how should I?"

THE FREE ADVICE MAN:

"Why not find a woman that you like enough and you feel is right for him and casually introduce them to one
another... Be a little sneaky, and then let him go when they are safely in each other's hands!"

WOMAN:

"That's great advice... How much do I owe you? "

THE FREE ADVICE MAN:

"It's free, but gratuities..gifts...are allowed when one can truly afford it... Whatever you wish!"

WOMAN:

"Thanks"."

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MIDDLE AGED MAN (AROUND 55 TO 65):

"Hi there! For some time now I've seen you sitting around this street in Baltimore giving advice... I've often
thought that you must be nuts....that if your advice was really any good then you would never give it for free and
never in public like this.... Anyway, now that doesn't matter anymore since I'm going on a long journey and won't
be coming back... and...."

THE FREE ADVICE MAN (29):

"Wait a moment... Are you suggesting that you're going to end it all!"

MIDDLE AGED MAN:

"Boy...you sure are sharp! Exactly.... I'm going to have an accident and with the insurance money my two
daughters will be able to go to college and get an education...something I could never afford to give them alive..."

THE FREE ADVICE MAN:

"Pardon me sir, but have you considered the following; even if you did succeed and the insurance company's
investigation never found any evidence of foul-play or fraud...which could still happen that they do....and the
award your daughters enough money for their education... So what! What if your daughters are so traumatized
and suffer psychology throughout the years because they missed you dearly and suspected that you had done
this crazy thing for them?? What is they get that education, but they develop serious health problems, like
cancer, from all the emotional stress and pain?? Would it be worth it then, especially if there might some other
way to help them get an education??"

MIDDLE AGED MAN:

"You're good...really good...I mean it! I've never thought about all that.... But what do you mean by other ways?"

THE FREE ADVICE MAN:

"Like applying for grant money and loans from both the government and an organization like the NAACP.."

MIDDLE AGED MAN:

"The government don't care a rat's ass about us folk...."

THE FREE ADVICE MAN:

"But the NAACP does and they and other organizations they can refer you to can both give some real assistance
and show you how to get government loans and grants!"

MIDDLE AGED MAN:

"Maybe you're right! You know what you're not nuts after all... In fact, come to think of it, that was great advice.
I'm going to try it out... Thanks a million young man... A fellow like you should not be out here but on the radio
and TV. Thanks again!"

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YOUNG WOMAN (AROUND 19):

"Hey (crying, tears rolling down her red cheeks), is it alright if I sit here and just watch you give other people
advice?"

THE FREE ADVICE MAN (24):

"Well, that depends on those other people...I'll have to ask them each time and if they mind you'll have to wait
further off unless you don't want them to get advice from me.... But why are you crying?"

YOUNG WOMAN:

"I'd rather not talk about that...But I'll be polite if anyone wants privacy."

THE FREE ADVICE MAN:

"O.K....sit and watch how I do my thing!"

(After almost three hours and five people asking for advice, not one who minded her presence)

YOUNG WOMAN:

"Wow...that was really cool... You're a real genius at advising people...."

THE FREE ADVICE MAN:

"Nah...that's going a bit too far... I know I have some rare wisdom here and there, but I am nowhere as educated
and intelligent as some people I know! But thanks anyway...and look (!) at you....you're smiling...the tears have
gone away!"

YOUNG WOMAN:

"That's because when I came here I was thinking about committing suicide...really...and I've actually tried to
before....see those scars (shows both her wrists were slashed some time ago)! But after watching you I think I
could live now... I mean I have just realized that that's what I would like to do for the rest of my life...And it's all
thanks to you....(kisses him on the cheek)... You're great!"

THE FREE ADVICE MAN:

"I'm.....I don't know what to say...thanks.... But what is it you are going to do?"

YOUNG WOMAN:

"I've got to find a bathroom...cause I really got to pee...."

THE FREE ADVICE MAN:

"No...I meant; what are you so inspired to want to do for the rest of your life?"

YOUNG WOMAN:

"I'm going to become a psychologist...or maybe just a social worker...and help people.... I think that would give me
a reason to live and even enjoy life sometimes! But I really got to go now or I'll end up peeing right here! Bye and
never let anyone put you down. O.K.?"

THE FREE ADVICE MAN:

"You see! Thanks for that advice...you're great too! Bye!"

YOUNG WOMAN:

"Bye and be good!"

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MAN (AROUND 45):

"Liked that article about you in The New Yorker.... Mind if I ask for some advice?"

THE FREE ADVICE MAN (23):

"Tell me, what's up?"

MAN:

"My mother.....we were real close....more so than my brother and sisters..... She passed away last week and I
thought I was going to break down and cry for days and weeks, but nothing! It's weird....because I know I'm really
sad inside, but I won't let my wife and kids see it....Is that wrong? Should I be letting it all out, like they do in the
movies??"

THE FREE ADVICE MAN:

"First of all; though I know this sounds rather commonplace; my condolences.... You're in shock....so it must have
come too suddenly and without any warning."

MAN:

"Yes it was..... I mean she had cancer since last year but never told any of us about it...as if she wanted to enjoy
her days without us worrying about her all the time....you know....And I guess I am in shock! Maybe I'm afraid to
go into my feelings for fear that I would lose my mind or something..."

THE FREE ADVICE MAN:

"At some point it will come down like a heavy rain, lightning and thunderstorm, and maybe you'll feel lost and
desperate, but...and this is very important to keep in mind and remember....you must know that the best way to
show respect to your mother's soul is to keep in mind that she would want you to be as happy as often as
possible and keep the happy times you had with her in your memory always... You must not allow yourself to lose
control over your life.... She was your connection to mother nature and now you must rely entirely on your wife...."

MAN:

"Thanks... I will not forget that.."

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PRIEST (AROUND 40):

"How do you know that you are not a mouthpiece for the devil?"

THE FREE ADVICE MAN (25):

"First of all, as far as I am concerned the devil is only real as a mechanism of mental ignorance and illness and is
not a self-existing entity with any real intent to do harm. Secondly, I sense that I am truly inspired by the real Spirit
of Love that is what one often calls GOD and that my advice is based on the same. Third and most importantly, if
I were speaking the devil's words and ideas then why does GOD abandon me to his influence and not give me
proof that he is more than spiritually omni-potent and disapproves of what I dare think and say??"

PRIEST:

"You are the voice of the devil and you must seek repentance lest you go to hell for eternity!"

THE FREE ADVICE MAN:

"I forgot to mention (as the priest walks away) that I am a spiritual Jew and could never agree to your world-view!"

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ANOTHER PRIEST (AROUND 35):

"You spoke to my brother the other day and he was disturbed by what you said. Can we talk about religion and
things?"

THE FREE ADVICE MAN:

"Sure, but only if you do not preach to me and thus offend my Jewish identity!"

PRIEST:

"Fine......."

(After a long and interesting conversation and debate of over two hours)

PRIEST:

"You are a man of great wisdom and speak with a true sense of GOD's love... And I must admit that you have
convinced me that religion is never an adequate substitute for spiritual and scientific enlightenment.... I think I am
going to quit the church and become more like you are and serve GOD's humanity and life without being limited
by the contradictions of religion... GOD bless you and keep true to your wise words!"

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