Once upon a time... the Spring of 1987 to be precise...there was a young
man who had been around the Sun twenty-three times and who, due to a series of
unfortunate events, no fault of his own, found himself down and out in Greenwich
Village, New York City.
Despite his difficulties and needs he did not beg for money or food, as he was
very well educated, had travelled the world and was quite creative ... He did not
eat out of garbage cans, or become dirty and smelly... He did not give in to
drinking and other abuses of the mind and body... He did not sell his body or
become a criminal... He did not give up on his principles or forget his true inner
identity... No! For he was different and noble ...
Years earlier he had been, among other things, a tea-house poet, an amateur
stand-up comic, an actor way off Broadway, an Avant-Garde intellectual and given
his slight talent at telling jokes and funny stories he stood on late afternoons,
evenings and nights on street-corners in the more colorful places of the city and
tell jokes and funny stories to people enjoying the wonderful and colorful life of
Greenwich Village. Late, late in the dark of the wee hours of the morning...around
four...he would roll his wheely, on which his boom-box and backpack stood, and
head off to the neighborhood park ,which was across the street from a place where
he had once resided on Leroy Street... Once there he would hide inside a large
concrete tube that was part of the park's playground... And to scare away
dangerous criminals and thugs he would use his microphone, attached to his
boom-box, and give them the impression that a patrol car was nearby! ("Charlie
Baker...Copy that, roger there!") This would always send the thugs, dealers and
other dangerous people on their way out of the park area, and the young man
would nearly die of silent laughter! And when the earliest moment of dawn arrived
he would snuggle up in his thin sleeping bag, inside that same concrete tube, and
try to get some sleep till around noon. Since he was young, always sober, and
relatively clean, the police were never too mean...
During the day he would spend most of the coins he had collected the night before
on breakfast, lunch and on fruit juices and soft-drinks... And when he had too little
to spend he would visit gourmet delis and other fine, fancy food places just as
they closed for the day, and there he would ask for the manager, to whom he
would say something to this effect; "Excuse me Ma'am (or Sir), I know this sounds
rather awkward but would you be so kind as to give me some bread with some
salt, please!" And with this clever line and a little patience he would find himself
exiting the place with bag-fulls of goodies, such as day old croissants of all types,
shapes and flavors, cheeses, salads and pastas too.... Often he got much more than
he himself could possibly eat in time, and so he would walk around the
neighborhood and redistribute good food to those less fortunate ones.... He knew
from having worked in food retail establishments, including gourmet delis, that
these places had plenty of day-old goods that they would usually end up having to
throw away...
When he needed to use the Water Closet he would enter a diner or other cozy
place and ask to use the rest-room while dangling his eternal Water Closet dollar
for the waiter or waitress to see... And usually they would tell him to keep the bill
and make use of their rest-room without further ado... But once in a while one of
them would try to pocket the bill, and he would then quickly withdraw the offer
and say that his urge had passed.. Later on, when he had managed to get back to
living a more normal life, he would go to those establishments where the waiters
and waitresses had been kind and would give them a nice tip on the side after
enjoying a meal he could once more afford...
For showers he was quite lucky, for he had a few old-time friends, like Larry the
movie theatre usher, who would let him use their apartments' shower-place once
every few days, or he would resort to the
"cheaply-bought-throw-away-towel-routine" at one of the cleanest area Water
Closets (restrooms). And he had three changes of clothes and would make use of
the local laundromat, The Niagara Falls Laundromat, every now and then....
But, after weeks of telling jokes and earning peanuts, the young man lost his
ability to pretend to smile, and one early dawn, after talking to an otherwise
brilliant Park Avenue brat in his early 30s, who had become an addict, the young
man was inspired to do something different! The Park Avenue chap had gotten to
know the young man and told him the following; "You give great advice and are
wise for your age... Have you ever thought of becoming a psychoanalyst?" This
was after a long and interesting late night's conversation about everything from
astronomy and relationships to philosophy and word history.
"That's it!" exclaimed the young man who had grown tired of telling the same old
jokes, "I'm going to become a sidewalk guru! I'll be the next great Socratic
philosopher! I'll be like Lucy in Peanuts, but instead of doing it for a nickel I'll
make it FREE! I will share my little wisdom with anyone who needs it! For FREE!"
And so, energized by this vision, the young man did not sleep that morning, but
went to a 24-hour Korean grocery store that he often enjoyed getting healthy food
at, and requested a square piece of cardboard and a pencil with which he made a
sign that read "Free Advice", and the words "Donations Appreciated" at the
bottom. He then rolled on over to a large metal box that concealed a water-pump
in front of The Niagara Falls Laundromat near the corner of 7th Avenue South and
Bleecker Street, sat on it with his legs crossed like a sitting Buddha and waited for
people to walk on by. And surely enough, though his first sign was not that easy to
read, once every now and then someone would stop and take the trouble to read
it...then laugh out loud...pull out a single or even a five dollar bill...and give it to
the young street-philosopher-in-training and walk away, often without ever asking
for any advice at all!
Unfortunately, though this new source of money came at just the right time, he was
quite disappointed. So he made a much better sign, one that was easier to read and
colorful, which also read "Free Advice", "Donations Appreciated" but included
the disclaimer "Not Qualified To Give Medical Or Legal Advice". He used blue,
red and black ink on a rectangular piece of brilliant white cardboard.
Finally some of the people passing by would stop and ask for advice. Some would
even write him a check as a tip-like gift.
He would end up throughout the next few years answering all manner of questions
and giving advice on all types of topics, from relationship advice to deep
philosophical questions, from career advice to inter-personal dilemmas, from
sexual issues to political issues. He gave advice to people from all walks of life,
from bums to billionaires, plumbers to professors, famous people and wannabes,
actors and musicians, even to criminals, crazy people and other people down on
their luck. But it was always for Free! And he only accepted tips from people who
are clearly well-to-do.
He was becoming a neighborhood sensation. Restaurants were offering him free
food, especially if he would do his shtick inside their establishment. But soon
enough an officer on patrol noticed him and took objection to his soliciting the
public for donations. So, advised to see the Community Affairs Officer, The Free
Advice Man (Jean-Pierre Ady Fenyo), as he became known, went over to the local
precinct and was informed about the limits of free speech. Thereafter his sign no
longer openly solicited for donations.
After only a couple of weeks of this first-of-a-kind American philosophical
guruship, The Free Advice Man was interviewed by a famous TV reporter named
Lloyd Kramer. And so The Free Advice Man made his first appearance on TV on
May 12, 1987 on the popular WNBC-TV New York news show "Live At Five
with Sue Simmons". And throughout the rest of the Spring, Summer and Fall he
became even more famous, with thousands of locals and tourists taking his picture
and asking for an autograph, and, sure enough, he was interviewed all over the
place, with the peak of his fame on August 17, 1987 in the form of a write-up by
Alec Wilkinson in The New Yorker magazine's Talk of The Town section! ( For a
list of major interviews and appearances click here ).
NOTE: The Free Advice Man is Pro-Family, Pro-Reproductive-Rights,
Pro-Unity-Through-Diversity, Pro-Individualism,
Pro-Non-Marxist-Social-Democracy, Pro-Enlightened-Capitalism,
Pro-United-Nations, Pro-Anti-Fascist, Pro-True-Republican-Democracy,
Pro-Liberty, Pro-Quality-Life, Pro-Anti-Poverty, Pro-Reason, Pro-Wisdom,
Pro-Truth, Pro-Safe-Sex, Pro-fessional Philosophy! And you can't touch that!
And the story goes on....
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FOR EXAMPLES OF HIS FREE ADVICE CLICK HERE
TO SEE THE NEW YORKER ARTICLE... CLICK ON THE IMAGE BELOW!
